Friday, February 12, 2010

.........and I am still awake

This day has been so long. It's almost 1 a.m. I accomplished two things today, I started both assignments for Color Theory.... However I have a 600 word essay due Sunday, apparently I am supposed to have read the entire book "Their Eyes were Watching God", and I have only read 2 chapters, actually less than 2. Oh and I have an assignment due for my Interactive Gaming class and I still do not know what it is exactly.
I know I will get it all done, I just have no idea of where to start, I am almost at the point of not caring. I want to be enthusiastic about my work!
Instead I have Michael Bublé's "Lost", Dido's "Grafton Street" and a couple other sad songs on repeat on youtube, I am stuck in my grief, and just feel abandoned at times.
What bothers me most is when a person is not present anymore, I start to wonder if they were ever here. Did I just imagine that life? Maybe it has something to do with what my Ethics teacher mentioned about Philosophy a few years ago, if a person leaves a room and you cannot see them do they exist? I know my dad existed/exists, I am afraid that I am going to forget him or forget his mannerisms and voice. I am so thankful for my photos and bits of video here and there.
Life just is not the same, it's been turned upside down, and I am just trying to keep my head above water.

1 comment:

  1. (((HUGS))) Dreama, I have not experienced what you are going through, so I will not even try to give you advice. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Some things I know that are true: God loves you and has not left you...He's right there with you; your dad loved you and while things may fade, I know you will never forget him - he is a part of you and has made a forever impression on your heart and life; you are loved and vitally important - we love you very much... you play a big role in my kids' lives! you have so much to offer to those around you and our lives would not be the same without you in it; your mom loves you and needs you, now, more than ever.

    Please know I am praying for you.

    Love you,