I think mom's hospitalization in January this year was the tip of the iceberg. However, I proved to myself that I could live on my own, I could manage the house, although not gracefully.
Okay, back to my realization. While graduating is great, I think I have it intertwined with my grieving. I think that I have it figured that if I am still taking classes, I have this life raft. It's something to keep my head above water. Graduation means removing that life raft and seeing if I will float or sink. It's time to really look for work. I feel I have a strong faith. I try to "Let go, and Let God", which is sometimes hit and miss. I have not put enough trust in him, although he has proved to me time and time again that he is in control. So while it's quite easy for me to start worrying about what I am going to do after I finish my B.A. I know it will work itself out.
|My Graduation from St. Petersburg College for my A.A./A.S.|
Honestly, I am looking forward to Graduating now though I am not attending Graduation. I am quite fine with not sitting for in a ceremony for a few hours, and far too many important people would not be able to attend.